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Wine, Women and Dementia: How One Woman Found Community

Have you found joy in your dementia caregiving journey?

Caring for a loved one with dementia can be challenging. But it can also be a journey filled with unexpected joy and community. In this episode of the "Dementia Caregiving for Families" podcast, Lizette welcomes Kitty Norton, who has created a unique documentary titled "Wine, Women, and Dementia." https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/

In 2016, Kitty Norton left her job as an NBC assistant editor in Los Angeles, for her hometown of Portland, Oregon, to walk, stumble, and crawl with her mother with dementia to death’s door.

While doing so, she authored the dementia caregiver blog Stumped Town Dementia, writing tales of dementia life which resonated deeply with readers around the world.

Kitty created and directed the dementia family caregiver documentary, "Wine, Women, & Dementia," to honor this journey with her mother, to spread awareness of the caregiver side of the equation in dementia, and to celebrate family caregivers; to let them know they are not alone, and are worthy of being seen and respected alongside their person living with dementia on this difficult road to the end of life.

A Unique Perspective

The documentary, "Wine, Women, and Dementia," is more than just a film. It is a testament to the power of community and the importance of finding joy even in difficult times.

Kitty shares her journey of caring for her mother, who had vascular dementia, along with her sister. They moved in together, forming a caregiving team and creating memorable moments.

The Power of Humor

One of the standout aspects of the documentary is its use of humor. Dementia is often portrayed as a tragic condition, but this film takes a different approach. It highlights the funny, unexpected moments that can occur, showing that laughter can be a powerful tool in caregiving.

The film encourages caregivers to embrace these moments, making the journey a bit lighter and more enjoyable.

Building a Community

The documentary also emphasizes the importance of community. Kitty met online friends who were also caregivers and decided to meet them in person.

These interactions were filmed and turned into a documentary. This film showcases how connecting with others who understand your journey can provide immense support and relief.

Changing the Narrative

This episode discusses the need to change the common narrative around dementia. Often, media portrayals focus on the tragedy and difficulty of the condition.

However, "Wine, Women, and Dementia" shows that while the journey is challenging, it can also be filled with love, laughter, and meaningful connections. This shift in perspective can help caregivers find joy and purpose in their role.

Wine Women and Dementia film documentary image

Caregiving Tips from the Film

1) Embrace Humor: Finding the funny moments can lighten the load.

2) Build a Support Network: Connect with others who understand your journey.

3) Focus on Joy: Create moments of happiness and celebrate small victories.

4) Use Creative Outlets: Engage in activities that bring you joy and help process your experiences.

5) Watch Together: Viewing the documentary with other caregivers can be a powerful shared experience.

Join the Community

Lizette also promotes the upcoming "Ask the Dementor" monthly meetup, a small group session offering support and guidance for caregivers. This is a great opportunity to connect with others and get personalized advice.

Join here:

https://dementiacaregivingmadeeasy.com/ask

Watch the Documentary

"Wine, Women, and Dementia" will be available for online viewing to support the Alzheimer's Association fundraiser. This is an excellent opportunity to see the film and contribute to a good cause.

Go here to watch it:

https://www.winewomenanddementia.com/

Conclusion

Caring for a loved one with dementia is not an easy task, but finding joy, humor, and community can make the journey more bearable. "Wine, Women, and Dementia" is a must-watch for caregivers looking for a fresh perspective and a reminder that they are not alone.

Listen to the Podcast

Listen to the episode on the player above, click here to download the episode and take it with you or listen anywhere you normally listen to podcasts.

a group of people holding wine glasses | How One Woman Found Community With Kitty Norton

Introduction to Dementia Caregiving

[0:01] What's up, Christian caregiver? It's Lizette, your dementia coach, and you are listening to Dementia Caregiving for Families. It's the show where I teach Bible-believing Christians how to make Alzheimer's and dementia care easy by giving you hope and help so you can create moments of joy and make memories together. In today's episode 129, we have a very special guest by the name of Kitty Norton, who has made a documentary called Wine, Woman, and Dementia.

[0:37] And it is well worth watching. And it is very important that you listen to the end of the episode where you find out how you can watch this documentary.

[0:50] Because we have timed this episode with the longest day, which is the Alzheimer's fundraiser for Alzheimer's disease, which is the 21st of June. So this documentary will be available for you to watch as a fundraiser for the Alzheimer's Association, and the information is in the show notes as well as at the end of the episode, but it is very, very well worth the very low admission fee to actually watch this documentary. It is super funny, and it is very well done and well written. And if you haven't yet joined one of my Ask the Dementia Coach segments, the next one is coming Coming up, it is June the 20th, and I would love for you to sign up to actually take one of the slots. I only have four or five people in the room, so please go ahead and register for the Ask the Dementor segment.

[2:05] That link is also in the show notes. And without further ado, let's go to our episode with Kitty Norton, Wine, Woman, and Dementia, How One Woman Found Community.

Navigating the Christian Caregiving Worldview

[2:25] Have you recently found out someone you love has dementia? Struggling to wrap your head around how to be a Christian caregiver? Searching for answers by joining countless Facebook groups but find them toxic? Learning how to cope with dementia feels difficult, but learning a Christian caregiving worldview can be easy. Hey, brother and sister in Christ, I'm Lizette, occupational therapist, pastor's wife, turned dementia coach, and a daughter of dementia. In this podcast, you will learn the truth that the way to make dementia care easy is your faith. Knowing that a loving God has decreed this hard providence in your life makes all the difference. Here you will gain skills. You will be challenged by what God says in his word about caregiving, and you will learn exactly what dementia is and is not. Find clarity and certainty from God's word so you have perseverance for this journey. Use science-backed solutions and biblical principles to redeem your time. Praying this blesses you as we dive into dementia from a Christian perspective. Let's glorify God despite dementia.

The Journey of Caregiving Begins

[3:51] Well, welcome, everybody. We have a very special treat today. We have a guest by the name of Kitty Norton. And Kitty has a very special movie that she has made, produced, acted in, all of the above, related to caregiving. And part of the reason I reached out to her was because of the name of the movie, which is Woman, Wine, and Dementia. And the reason for it connecting in my brain is because we have a woman, wine, and dementia situation in my life, but it was a different type of woman, wine, and dementia situation that Kitty was talking about. So I'm very excited to have our guest here today. Kitty, why don't you tell everybody a little bit about yourself as an introduction. Absolutely. And thank you, Lizette, for having me. I do want to correct you. It's Wine, Women, and Dementia. Wine, Women, and Dementia. Well, that's a little subtle thing.

Starting the Caregiving Journey

[4:58] Yeah, so I started taking, my sister and I started taking care of our mom who was living with vascular dementia after my dad died in 2016 and mom had been diagnosed in 2010. So she was about midway into her progression. My sister, I was living down in LA at the time. I had started a new career a few years earlier in post-production. So I was working on as an assistant editor on some NBC shows and doing really well. I was trying to get to an editor's chair in another year or two. But dad died and it was time to come home and take care of mom. So mom and dad have a split level. So my boyfriend and I moved into the basement, which, you know, he was super thrilled about that. I'm sure. Sure. And my sister who lives on the Oregon coast, she would come, you know, two or three days a week and take her, her turns with mom. So I could have a break from it. We did that for five years. Mom died in 2016.

[6:02] The last two years of mom's life, we actually did bring in one more person, which I always tease mom about. It's like, you need a team of experts getting you through this lady, you know, But during that time, I also wrote a blog, so I did something creative to do and something that was kind of my own. So I started writing about our dementia adventures, and it was all just personal stories, the good stuff, the bad stuff, the funny stuff. And I started making these online friends all over the world, and five of them in particular became very, very important. So when mom died, I decided I wanted to go meet these people.

[6:50] And I thought, well, if we just sit around and have conversations about what we've been through, that might be really helpful for other caregivers. And that's how it kind of morphed into a movie from there. Oh, wow. Yeah. So that's what made you think you could actually make the movie because your background was already in film or just the whole, I need a healthy way to process what I've been through? Well, there's several reasons why I thought I could make the movie. One of them is from Portland, Oregon, we're a very DIY town and we always have been. So nobody tells us we can't do things because nobody pays any attention to us. So we just do them. So there was that. I had that background. I also, yes, my post-production experience. So I knew a lot of what happens on the end of production. So I knew I wasn't starting from square one and I had some experience. And also, even before I changed careers, I had worked in a lot of nonprofit theaters.

[8:00] So I was always around wonderful, incredible, amazing stories, you know, from Shakespeare to A Raisin in the Sun, to, you know, just playwrights from just the whole span of the human experience. So I knew how to tell a story. And I knew if I hired other people who knew even better how to tell a story, they could help me get it to where it needed to be and where it was something worth putting out in the world. So why do you call it the dementia movie you didn't know you needed?

Unveiling the Unexpected Impact of the Documentary

[8:37] Well, I didn't at first until we started going to festivals and doing community screenings, which that started last spring. So I have been privy to the experience that people are having when they watch the film. And I also know a lot of the caregivers who come were like, oh, my gosh, at the end of the film, they're like, this is the last thing I wanted to do today. But my friend made me come. And I am so glad I came to see this because now I know I've been seen. I don't feel so alone anymore. I do actually feel celebrated. I feel like what I do is important and worth hearing about and talking about. You know, so it's like I just thought about that maybe three or four months ago. I'm like, this is like the movie nobody thought they needed. You know, all of a sudden as a caregiver, you're like, wow, okay. Now I feel like people get it I feel like I get what other people are going through it just seems to have been very important to the people who see it so what it sounds like to me is you started you made the movie from you know because it was something that you needed and then the unintended consequence was that it's actually a movie for what other people need.

[10:05] Hey, Dementia Caregiving for Families listeners, it's Anna Gelbman-Edmonds from the Navigating in Reverse podcast. I want to let you know about my podcast where we focus on the caregivers. Transitioning into the caregiving role often results in a parental role reversal as the adult child begins making many decisions for the aging parent. We cover topics that will help you navigate your caregiving journey and plan for your own golden years. The link to episode number 32, What Happens When You Don't Plan Ahead, is in the show notes. You're listening to Dementia Caregiving for Families, and here's your host, Lizette Cloutier. I mean, I intended it to be a film that other people needed. The first time I saw it, all completed, I thought this is the movie I wish I would have seen in 2016. This is the movie that I wish could have given me some heads up on what was coming down the road. So I've always intended it to be that. I just didn't realize it was going to go above and beyond that. Okay. So can I ask a clarification question? So you mentioned your mom passed away in 2016. No, 2021. I'm sorry. Sorry, I misspoke. Okay, so she passed away in 2021 and you started making the movie shortly after that?

[11:30] Yeah, well, I started planning the road trip because the five people I went to visit were all around the U.S. And that's when I started thinking about maybe bringing a film crew if these conversations were going to be what I thought they were going to be. And Seattle was the first one we did. And we did that about a month prior to the production, the big tour, which happened in September. So mom died in March. Okay. I started thinking about this. By the time we'd gotten about the beginning of summer, I knew I wanted to try making this a documentary. So in August, the first of August, we went up to Seattle and did Allison because, you know, that's only three hours away from me in Portland. And when I came home with that footage and watched it, I knew I had something to make. I knew it was going to be worth doing. So before I went and paid everybody to go a whole month around the country with me, I thought, let's try one first. Let's make sure. Yeah. So of all of the people that were in the documentary with you, all of their loved ones have since subsequently passed, correct? They were all on the other side of the journey, or were there people who were still in the midst of it? Yeah, still were and still are to some extent. So Allison up in Seattle, her husband died in 2019.

[12:59] Grace and Ashley in Chicago, their mom was just about four years into her diagnosis, I believe. And she's still living and living with dementia. She has Alzheimer's. um my friend Roseanne her mom had died about a month after me after my mom and then um Veronica down in Texas her grandmother had died but she was also taking care of her mom and her mom Linda is still living oh Matt and Ashley are married couple who each had a parent uh with a type of dementia both their parents died within the year of us being there so okay well I will tell you I thoroughly enjoyed watching it. It was, it was one of those, it's, it's hard when you've been in the dementia space for so very, very long, you know, that it's.

[13:57] Sometimes you feel like I have a lot of head knowledge about it. Yes, I have heart knowledge, too, in helping my parents. But, you know, I'm just one person, one unit. And so you don't know what you don't know. Right. And watching the entire movie and the journey that people have been through was very helpful to me from an emotional perspective, which I wasn't anticipating. Facilitating because one of my big pet peeves right now is you know 20 years ago we weren't really talking about dementia, Alzheimer's, you know all of these different types of things happening. It's been around for a long time. It's not that it hasn't been there. We had a lot of people in the nursing homes. I worked in nursing homes. Most of the patients that I worked with had some form of cognitive loss or dementia.

[15:01] So, you know, there's that component, but they're starting to talk about it like in subplots in television programs and things like that now, but the narrative is all the same. It's like there's this one little script that somebody has come up with that this is what a dementia journey looks like. And so it really irks me. From that perspective, because there's such a variety of ways that every family journeys through this, the same but different, you know. So seeing all of the variety in the documentary of where people were, it wasn't like everybody was in an institution or everybody was at home. There was a nice variety, as well as the variety of types of caregivers. You know, not just daughters or spouses, but a combination of a variety of people, grandchildren. So it really, you know, and that's one of my big things related to dementia and dementia caregiving is we, we do, you mentioned the whole team concept, right? Mom, we now have a team.

[16:28] You need a team of experts, lady. You need a team. Every, and that's the thing, right? Every caregiving family needs a team, right? But we don't, necessarily talk about it or they don't think about it or it's like i can do it on my own, well i i we tried to do this and i think we were very successful i did not want any on the nose stuff in this film and community is a huge theme in this film but we don't talk about it we don't talk about how to get it we don't we just show through us coming together five people who had never ever met them each other in person you know so community is a big thing um.

[17:19] The tragedy narrative which i i don't know what you perceive as the cookie cutter narrative but i perceive it as the tragedy narrative i a hundred percent agree and that is like i'm like time out i'm so tired of those films and not to say that there isn't tragedy because there is but we're caregivers and we cannot live like that for the five or the 10 or the 20 years that this is going to go on. And we're trying to help our person. We're not going to survive or we're going to ditch the person altogether because we need to save ourselves. So for me, when I started writing the blog, it was to kind of say, hey, all this media I'm seeing or reading, it's all about how horrible this is. And it's such a tragedy. And oh my God, everybody cries and everybody dies in the end. It's like, well, yeah, it's dementia. Everybody dies in the end. But there's a lot of laughter.

Finding Humor and Joy in the Journey

[18:20] There's a lot of love. There's a lot of tears. And it's just life. It's a really hard life, but you can get through it. If this ding dong can do it, we can do it you know and that's that's one thing that i wanted the film to to tell people some of the really funny stories yeah like some of the crazy thing that dementia people get up to it's hilarious and if you can find that hilarity for yourself and for them you guys are gonna have a better day and a better week and maybe even a better month. So I agree. Every single time I see a new film, I'm excited or I read a new book, I'm like, maybe this will be something that's a little different.

[19:09] And it's, well, yours is for sure. Absolutely. I just recently met with one of my clients and we were having, I was asking her, you know, cause I do dementia coaching with, with families and clients. Um, and my entire mindset and view is how do we change the narrative? How do we change the narrative? I'm not, you know, I'm not discounting, like you said, that it isn't difficult or that there aren't challenges because there certainly are oh it's the toughest thing I've ever done but life is challenges like if you if you lose a child that's hard you know if if you find out you have cancer yourself that's hard life is not all you know sunshine and roses but But one of the things that she said to me that was an unintended, not thought through consequence of the coaching was, she's like, the thing I got back was my joy. My joy with my mom. Joy that we can still do things, make memories, live well, and not just constantly be in that narrative.

[20:32] That's out in the greater community. And I 100% blame the healthcare system for that.

[20:46] I think it's also a good narrative to raise money. And the money you need to find a cure. You know what? I thank you for that because I haven't even thought about it in that way. But you're right. I just think we're beating over the head with it. And as caregivers, it's not helping us. I, and, and I had to go through what you're describing that your, your client was going through. I had to go through that the first, I don't know, probably six months that I was full time on mom. I treated her as just like this precious little porcelain doll. If she was upset, then, oh my gosh, you know, I had to do somersaults to get her to be happy. And, and, and, you know, I just, and I finally had to say, okay, this is not sustainable. I am at a stress level of here and dementia is not going to make mom happy every day. In fact, more days, it's going to make her miserable. So how are we going to figure out that so many times she's miserable and you might get a smile out of her and that might be the best you can do today. Okay. So let it go. Like this is still her life and she still has this journey to do. If you believe in God, if you believe in fate, this was supposed to be the way she dies.

[22:05] So let's give her as much life in it as possible and understand that we don't control that, that she does and that dementia does. And we're just doing, we're punching it in the face as often as we can, but we're not going to land all the blows. Right. I will tell you one of the things I enjoyed the most about the movie is the humor yeah good there's a lot of there's a lot of humor in it and and you know dementia is can be if you choose to just reframe it in your brain it can be very funny not not that not funny in the sense of belittling the person correct but funny in the sense of you know, some crazy stuff gets done. It does. It does. And sometimes it's hilarious. And sometimes joining mom and her world was, it was like having a play date, you know, it was like as creative as I can be, or as if I can find humor in this situation, I might get a smile. I might even get a giggle out of this lady who's pretty pissed off right now. So, you know, let's go there. Let's.

[23:24] Use that humor. And that's the humor that my parents gifted us with. So for us, it was very natural to go there. But again, like I said, that first six months, I just felt like, oh, that's making fun of her. I was so pushing down who we were and who mom was because of my perception of now how this should be because it's tragedy. And I had to let go of that. And I want other people to know if tragedy is working for you, keep with it.

[23:59] If you find whatever works for you in dementia, keep doing it. But if it's not working, here's some people who did it a little differently.

Embracing Fellowship and Support in Caregiving

[24:08] And you may find this helpful for your own journey. Do you feel alone and isolated and need a little bit more help and support in this journey, sign up for our next Ask the Dementor monthly meetup where we will come together. Less than 10 people are allowed to sign up at a time so we can have fellowship where we can answer questions, where you can get some Christian and guidance and just an awareness that you are not alone on this journey. I really want you to be able to connect with me. I want to be able to answer your specific questions.

[24:55] So if you're struggling, if you're tired, if you're overwhelmed, if you're stressed, if you just need a little bit to help sign up for the next Ask the Dementor monthly meetup. I have never, in the show notes below, in the 31 years of working with hundreds and thousands of people over the years with dementia and their family caregivers, I've never found anybody that the tragedy narrative is working for yeah i i i just you know and and the people that come to mind who were the burnt out, freaked out i can't do this woe is me in doom and gloom caregivers were the ones who who mostly had absorbed that tragedy narrative, and the caregivers over the years, you know, that came through it with a healthy life on the other end, healthy mindset, healthy the outlook on it were those that did not prescribe to that tragedy narrative. And so, you know, if, if.

[26:22] If somebody really is in that tragedy narrative and it's working for them, I beg them to reach out to me because I've never seen it. Legitimately, I have never, ever seen it. Yeah. I agree with you, but again, I'm not an expert. I mean, you definitely have more experience and education than I do. I'm not an expert on dementia. I'm an expert on how I got my mom through dementia and how we did it seemed to be helpful for other people. And it connected, especially through the blog, I connected with other people who were already also using these tactics. And that's what I wanted people to see. You know, I'm not saying that this is going to make it easy and it's not going to make you a perfect caregiver. I was a terrible caregiver at times, terrible, you know, and I talk about that in the film. It's like, okay, if I'm going to, do the fun stuff, I'm also going to put the terrible stuff in it. This girl right here was awful at times. I've had my moments. I'm still very humbled at times that.

[27:39] I'm like, yeah, I've got to go to my group and tell them, you know, I'm not perfect. I done stepped in it, you know, I mean, but that's life. That's how we... It's a really tough situation, really tough.

[27:55] So, yeah, I think any end of life journey and you are helping that person, like you said, if it's your child, if it's your spouse, if it's whatever the disease is, This is the hardest stuff you're probably ever going to do in your life. So don't think that this movie is going to make anything easy for you. This movie would just show caregivers there's another way through it if you want to give this a shot. Or maybe just seeing a different way through it makes you think, open your brain to know what's going to work for you. And maybe none of this does. Maybe you watch the film and go, okay, now I absolutely know how I don't want to do it. That's also helpful, though. Good, I hope so. Knowing what you don't want to do is also helpful. Yeah. Because, you know, there's so much information out there, and sometimes people are just trying to figure out what's going to work for them. And so, you know, even if somebody watches the film and says, yeah, I can't do it that way, but then it narrows down. They don't have another 500 things they have to try. Right. before they get to the one that will work for them. Are you still keeping up with the blog?

[29:13] No, I, in fact, I don't think I've done a post in probably close to a year. I keep it up because I know it's still helpful for some people. I still get notes every once in a while from somebody like, hey, I just found your blog. I'll recommend that they start in the archives so that they can read, the trajectory of when it happened, but I just don't have time, you know?

[29:39] I thought putting a film together was going to be the hardest part and that was difficult, but getting it out into the world is a lot of hustle all the time. And I just don't have time to write much anymore. So tell me, how are we getting it out in the world? Yeah. So community screenings have been really popular. So anybody for your community can go to the film website at Wine, Women, and Dementia and sign up to host a community screening. You license the film. You can decide if you want me or one of the cast members to attend either in person or virtually. So that's really fun. We finished with festivals. So that's over. We're doing a lot of screening. I do a lot of virtual screening windows. So we have one coming up.

[30:30] We did one for Mother's Day, so I wanted to do one for Father's Day too. And it's also the longest day of the year, which is the big Alzheimer's foundation fundraiser. So on June 14th, on Friday, that's Father's Day weekend. The film will be available to watch online. You can go to the website to get the link to do so. And you just register, uh pay your five dollars for the ticket pay more if you can i'm going to take out the processing fees for the platform and the strike processing fees but everything else goes to the alzheimer's association and you have that week to watch the film so i think it's a full seven days that the film will be available wow yeah awesome yeah i'm really excited and then another thing that we are really excited for is we just found out last month that we've been accepted for PBS distribution.

[31:27] So we're cutting the film down to an hour. That will make it really attractive for programmers, PBS programmers to pick up and put in the lineup. We're going to have it to them in time to have our debut for November's National Family Caregiver Month. So we're just, I'm over the moon BECAUSE THAT, just took our ability to get to thousands of people up to millions of people. And that's huge. So, and I'm also still have plans throughout the next year to continue to start going worldwide with it. So getting to more, you know, LinkedIn is a really good place to make connections with people all over the world who are working in aging and caregiving. So I intend to keep following up and making those partnerships. And, you know, we're going to have a Malaysia rollout this month and, you know, we're going to go to Japan this month. And, you know, so I'm, I'm, I want it to get to whoever wants to see it. Hmm.

Expanding the Reach of the Documentary

[32:34] What a ministry this is. Ah, it's driving me crazy.

[32:40] Oh, the ministry is driving you crazy. Like I do nothing but work on this film now. Yeah. I need to do a little respite from the film sometimes. I'm a little overwhelmed. But I think once we get it delivered to PBS, I'll be able to settle down a little bit. Wonderful. So tell people again how they can connect with you, where they can find the film. And then I'm going to have to figure out if I can do a local screening here in Greenville. I don't know if it's been here in Greenville yet. It's incredible to watch it with a group of caregivers. And it doesn't matter if there's 10 in the room or 100. It's that energy when you're sitting next to somebody you don't know, but they get it. They're laughing too. They're crying too. It's really powerful. Okay. Yes. Wine, Women, and Dementia is the website. And on it, you can access the trailer. You can go to the screenings page and see all the screenings. We've got a bunch coming up in Wisconsin for June and find out where the virtual screening, how to access the virtual screening. We don't know who's going to pick it up for PBS yet, but as soon as we do, that'll also go on that page. Yeah, join the newsletter at the website because newsletter people get the first information on all of the events and opportunities to see the film.

[34:09] Well, for anybody who is listening today or within the week that this comes out, because this episode will be coming out the Monday before the week. We timed it for for this I really really really want you to go watch this movie it is it is well worth spending it's not even it's not even super long it's the dementia movie you didn't know you needed it's the dementia movie you didn't know you needed and especially if you're in the midst of the journey. But even more, if you are on the other end of the journey, I think it's a helpful movie to watch from a cathartic perspective. I think for a lot of people, it can be very cathartic to know. And for people who don't know what that word is, like an emotional release.

[35:07] I have to look up words every day. I'm so glad other people don't know what some of them mean. It's it's um it's a good word to to almost like cleanse you from an experience i'm not a technical definition by any means but it is very therapeutic to process what you've been through so i would recommend people i really would recommend people watch it i will give people a little bit of a teaser.

[35:44] You got to just ignore some of the language because that can be difficult for some people. But it kind of surprised me. But once it happened, I'm like, oh, yeah, well.

[35:55] There's a lot of naughty words in dementia. I think it was Teepa Snow. I got to go to Teepa Snow like the first year that I was on full-time mom and see her at a conference. And I remember her saying, hey, your little pastor's wife mother is going to drop the F-bomb and you're just going to need to get used to it. I was like, I think she's right. My mom was very religious and goodness Goodness gracious. She had, she was quite colorful towards the end of her life. It, it, it, it definitely happens. It doesn't happen with everybody, but it does happen for sure. Absolutely. And I, I hate that it's probably going to be me when, when, if, or when it happens, because my parents were not very discerning growing up with language. And so, you know, If you are going back through that whole process, that is my default.

[36:54] I work very hard to have a cleaner language now, but I definitely could see that that would be unfortunately something that's going to happen to me. But not everybody has that happen. It's just interesting. we were kind of a rough and tumble family too. So my sister and I have some colorful language, but in the end, it's just words and, and yeah, it, I think it's worth seeing. And I hope you join us for the Friday, the Father's Day weekend and the Longest Day Fundraiser Week. Cause that's just really exciting. And, and I don't know about you guys, but I always get upset when I haven't given to Alzheimer's Association because while they haven't found a cure yet, they're the biggest organization in the world searching for one. So I love to make sure I get money to them every year. So this is a way to make your donation go a little further even. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Well, Kitty, thank you so much for being here. So when I write my book about women, wine, and dementia, yours is wine, woman, and dementia. Now we don't have any trademark issues with each other. it. No.

[38:11] Ours is actually a really interesting story. I do need to do a separate episode on how I weaned my parents off of alcohol. Yes. Yeah. Because these are issues that a lot of caregivers face that those were, that was something that we did not touch on of all the topics we hit. We didn't, we didn't hit like when your person just has really big health issues to start with and then dementia hits. So, yeah. Yeah. So, but yet again, thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you so much for letting me watch it. It was awesome. And thank you to everybody who's watching. I appreciate you being here. Awesome.

Gratitude and Encouragement for Caregivers

[38:53] Thanks for joining me today, Success Seeker. I pour my heart and soul into this program to serve you. You can serve me by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts and join our free Facebook group, Dementia Caregiving for Families. It's a positive and proactive space to navigate dementia caregiving together. Get practical tools and find support, but without the verbal vomit. Be a part of our community where we seek to find peace of mind and ease, despite the dementia diagnosis. So join today and see you next time as our flight takes off.

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About the author

“Think Different” Dementia’s owner, Lizette Cloete, OTR/L graduated as an Occupational Therapist from the University of Pretoria in South Africa in 1992. Lizette has almost 30 years of experience as an Occupational Therapist in a variety of settings, the latest being in the home health environment. She enjoys teaching on the topic of dementia, most recently presenting at a national conference on the topic “Dementia Made Simple”.

Disclaimer: These blogs, videos and any work done by Lizette Cloete OT, as a Member of Think Different Dementia, LLC, is given only as educational content and consulting work. This does not create an Occupational Therapist-Patient Relationship. The educational content and consulting work performed should not be considered medical treatment as an Occupational Therapist. The consulting work does not take the place of medical work normally performed by a licensed Occupational Therapist. Please consult a licensed Occupational Therapist for medical advice.

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